


Our Lowest Point

by Mechanosapience



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Gen, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-09 03:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mechanosapience/pseuds/Mechanosapience
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Korra wasn't entirely honest with her friends and family about what happened out on the ice shelf.  This is what she didn't tell them.</p>
<p>Spoilers through Episode 12: "Endgame".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Lowest Point

_It's gone._ That thought had surfaced in the time between her flight from Republic City and the moment the look of resignation crossed Master Katara's aged face, but it was only now that she began to comprehend that, and only numbly, like trying to write neatly while wearing mittens. _It's gone._

Korra had come into her bending at an early age. So early that Korra struggled to remember a time when she couldn't bend. Now the water that ran down her face, formerly dynamic and life-giving, was totally and completely inert. It just felt cold and empty. The chill antarctic wind blew against her face, forcing her to close her eyes, her vision blurring with tears. "It's not hopeless," she told herself. "I still have my airbending. I can still do this." She managed to hold onto that thought for only a few moments before doubts began bubbling upward. _That's not enough. What use is the Avatar who can't bend all the elements or even manage to cross over to the Spirit World._ She sobbed, her chest spasming. _Some Avatar._

_The Avatar brings balance to the world._ Korra took a deep breath, trying desperately to focus on a meditative technique Tenzin had taught her. She clenched her fists, held them tight, then relaxed them. Next she tightened the muscles in her arms, wrapping them around her her chest. She relaxed. She continued through her body, working her way from her neck down to her feet, then back up. She managed to keep focused on the exercise, but soon after she finished, the thoughts resurfaced. _You know that's not going to change anything._ Korra let out a ragged breath, her chest shuddering. _You may be an airbender still, but breathing isn't going to fix this._

"Then what will?!" she hissed at the thoughts in her head. They were right, though. This was pointless. Most of her bending was gone, and Amon was still out there. "It's okay," she told herself. "I can still do this. More Coalition forces have come, and we'll find him." But it felt hollow. _Who am I kidding?_ she thought. _He's gone. It's gone._ She sobbed.

Korra stared at the water below, crashing against the wall of the ice shelf, and a chill that had nothing to do with the weather struck her. It began with the numb realization that the fall from here would probably kill her. She pushed herself back with her legs. _Would that really be so bad?_ Korra couldn't believe that thought pushed itself up from the churning maelstrom of her mind. As bad as things were, she didn't want to die... did she? _Can you really live with this empty hole inside? Can you stand to live without your bending? Swim in water without reaching out to it? Feel the heat of a flame without it stirring something inside? Stand upon the steady earth without feeling the underlying power, like a sleeping badgermole? Is a life without all that really worth living?_.

"It has to be. I need to keep going. _They_ need me to keep going." She thought about Mako, how she'd never be able watch him again. Korra loved him, even knowing that they could never be together. At least, not like that. She thought about Tenzin. As a master and student, they had grown close, and Korra felt like a part of his family. _You must be such a disappointment after Aang._

"Yeah," Korra sighed. "I guess I am. Aang ended the Hundred Year War, and I go and get broken." _Broken._

She thought about the past Avatars. Kyoshi. Roku. Aang. Each of them did great things, and then there she was, the Broken Avatar. The world needed the Avatar, and Korra couldn't be that anymore. _The world needs an Avatar, but it doesn't need me._

She looked down to the sea below. Water was what she came from: it seemed fitting that she was returning to it. It would be easy. _Just lean forward and close your eyes._ She took a deep breath. She was about to do it, when she heard footsteps in the snow behind her.

"Not now, Tenzin," she said, attempting to compose herself. "I just want to be left alone"

_But you called me here,_ a new voice, calm and soothing, said.


End file.
